My Wednesday Wish for You: Civility Without Compromise In a world that feels increasingly divided, it can seem impossible t…
My Wish for You is Peace through Self Empathy.
In my work with GiANT Worldwide, I have been taught and believe that you cannot give away what you do not possess. What does that mean? Well in the literal sense, I can’t give you a piece of pie if I don’t have pie to give you. In the theoretical sense, it means that if I don’t have peace, I cannot pour peace into you, if I feel insecure, I cannot give you a sense of security. I encourage you to think about that in more depth and where that really shows up in your life.
As I travel on this journey of peace, I realize that I cannot give to others what I do not have or refuse to give to myself. If my inner voice believes in “tough love” and will not allow me to tell myself, “It’s ok,” how can I possibly be free to tell anyone else “it’s ok”? And if I do, how often is it superficial and not real (and the person on the receiving end typically can tell).
When I found out that I was allowed to be nice to myself, (I know that sounds crazy, but once you take an inventory of your inner voice, you might find some crazy thoughts of your own!) it was liberating because I could see how it was going to open the doors to give that gift to the people in my life as well. Now, your inner voice might be saying something else: it might be saying you are a victim, or it might be encouraging you to avoid tough situations, or it might be telling you to work harder, or that you are an imposter. Allow yourself empathy for your inner person. If you mess up, miss the mark, don’t achieve what you wanted, or need a do-over, then give it to yourself in the most grace-filled way you can. No strings attached. Do it with a smile. Then do that for someone else. Do it for someone that may not deserve it. Doing it willfully and joyfully. (If you are begrudging, it only hurts you.) See how powerful it is to give empathy to someone else.
Empathy is NOT sympathy; empathy is UNDERSTANDING the feelings of others. Sympathy is FEELING SORRY for others. Self-empathy is observing your feelings and experiences with suspended judgment and openness. It takes real intention to observe without judgement. Start with yourself. Understand your own feelings and allow them. Give yourself a break. And once you start to flex that muscle, try it on someone else. The outcomes will amaze you.
My wish for you is Peace, and I know it can start by practicing self empathy.