Do you look for agreement in your disagreements? Try this.
As success-oriented leaders, we often think we have the answer to pretty much anything you throw at us. And if we don’t have the answer, we pretend we do. I often say being positive is being wrong as loudly as possible. “Are you sure?” “I am POSITIVE!” Being “Right” really lends to an open mindset. As leaders we are taught that a growth mindset is the way to go. But if we think we are always Right, we really aren’t in the mindset to learn anything new. This plays out in a variety of ways.
Being Right makes everyone dependent upon you for the answers. I have worked with many CEOs who can always solve the problem. Their people are basically undermined or not empowered to solve their own problems, so why bother? How many people are lined up outside your door on a daily basis? How many of those issues could they solve themselves if you were not around, even if it wasn’t the same way you would solve it? You are basically stealing the dopamine and adrenaline rush from your employees by solving their problems! It’s fun for you but doesn’t promote growth or build capacity for your team. You become the reason your company doesn’t grow.
Being Right closes your mind to other options. If you have the solution, the first and the best solution, then you’re ready to go and move on it. But what if that’s not the case? What if someone else has a solution that you didn’t consider, or couldn’t even think of because of your proximity to the problem? If you are not willing to hear a solution that you didn’t come up with just because it wasn’t yours, you are constraining the organization. If you do not listen to find agreement or make the environment safe to disagree, or safe to share a solution that you haven’t tried before then you, again, become a lid on the capacity of your organization. What if you listened to everything you came across looking for at least ten percent that you could agree with? Would that change how you listen and what you listen for? Would that change how those on the other side of you experience you? Could you hear something different that might turn into the next new solution? Could you start to empower your people to solve their problems without you? Could it open the door to possibilities you didn’t even know existed?
Peace comes in a variety of ways. I encourage you to listen to find agreement. See how that changes your mindset and your opportunities.
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